Affairs: why they happen and how they can be addressed
Can childhood trauma cause infidelity? Which patterns are involved in the unravelling of a love relationship? Counselling psychologist Dr. Ingrid Artus clarifies what happens emotionally and physiologically, the effect of betrayal, dealing with trauma, and affairs as a possible form of addiction. She offers the antidotes to criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling.
Dr. Ingrid Artus
If you are new to podcasts, simply click on the arrow to listen to Ingrid and Mariette, or on the download button to download the conversation onto your device.
In ep. 90 of the weekly podcast series Calm, Clear and Helpful, Ingrid discusses
the negative spiral of events leading to potential affairs
what differentiates “masters” from “disasters” of intimate relationships
the meaning of partners’ turning towards, away from, or against each other
the “four horsemen of the apocalypse”: criticism, defensiveness, contempt and stonewalling:
what criticism entails and what the antidote is
what defensiveness looks like and how to handle it
a description of contempt – a fundamental reason for divorce – and how to change it
a definition of stonewalling – actually a freeze response - and a countermeasure
why talk sometimes becomes useless when a couple experiences problems
childhood trauma as a possible cause of infidelity
why affairs can be a bizarre attempt to self-soothe and may become an addiction
how BrainWorking® Recursive Therapy (BWRT) can help individuals deal with trauma, fear and historical or recent losses
exploring partners’ core beliefs using Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT)
the top-down and bottom-up approach to facilitating a couple where trust has been broken
which couples can be helped to successfully rebuild trust and heal their relationship
ways for partners to calm themselves down
Ingrid’s 3 tips for life.
In this episode, Ingrid mentions the work of John and Julie Gottman at The Gottman Institute which includes the SPAFF system; BrainWorking® Recursive Therapy (BWRT); Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT); the Gottman techniques; finger-pulse oximeters.
Listen to clinical psychologist Rafiq Lockhat’s introduction to what BWRT® is and what it can do.
Lees ook ‘n Afrikaanse artikel oor Brainworking® Recursive Therapy.
Ingrid explains how to successfully move through love’s 5 stages to lasting love.
Dr. Hannetjie Van Zyl-Edeling explains how to best handle conflict in your personal relationships.
Contact details
Ingrid is a counselling psychologist and Director of the Westpsych Psychology Practice based in Johannesburg. She is a level 2 registered accredited member of The Terence Watts BWRT Institute and has completed The Gottman Method Couples Therapy levels 1, 2 & 3 as well as REBT (Rational Emotive Behaviour Therapy) levels 1 & 2. Ingrid mainly works with adolescents, individual adults and couples.
Website: https://www.westpsych.com/
Tel. +27 61 492 5714
Email address: appointment@westpsych.com
Facebook: Westpsych - Psychologists
Counselling psychologist Doreen Hofmeyr explains how BWRT Level 3 targets chronic illnesses, autoimmune diseases, and chronic pain.
Heinrich Benjamin tells us how to recognise PTSD and how BWRT® can provide fast, cost-effective relief.
Read how Terence Watts’ surprising background prepared him for “discovering” BWRT® and of the many things close to his heart. With personal photographs.
Music by Mart-Marie Snyman
Thumbnail image: Pexels.
Photograph of Dr. Ingrid Artus: supplied